This is a random post that I've been thinking about for a long time. When Sarah was born, I'll admit it, I was terrified. After Ben, something happened to me, emotionally and mentally and I just am not capable of handling as much as I used to. I get overwhelmed much easier it seems and feel discouraged with myself a lot. Add to that, Sarah was SO colicky for the first 4 1/2 months of her life and hardly spent a moment not SCREAMING. I joked that she just knew she was the fourth child and had to speak up to be heard, but inside I was going crazy! She cried all day and ALL night. She rarely slept! It was a hard time mostly because I was too prideful to ask for help when I was too exhausted to keep going. So I kept going. I was finally shaken into the reality that I needed help when something horrible happened. Ben suffered a terrible, really, really terrible burn. The kids were almost late for school. I had to have myself and the babies ready too because Ben had a dr appointment right after I dropped the girls off. Everyone was ready and waiting by the door as Aimee read a story to the little ones. I ran upstairs to brush my teeth (the last of my personal hygiene rituals I hadn't yet given up on). I had had the flat iron straightener turned off and cooling behind the bathroom sink. I moved it so I wouldn't shock myself while I brushed my teeth. I never heard Ben come in. He is so quiet. I didn't even hear him screaming because he is literally silent when he cries most of the time. I just happened to lift my head up and see out of the corner of my eye his whole hand was grasped tightly in the inside of the flat iron and he wasn't letting go. He was screaming in agony but wasn't making a sound. I'll never forget the look of terror and pain on his face. He suffered really bad third degree burns on the outside of his hand and wrist area and the whole inside of his palm. I panicked, cried, immediately took him to the closest urgent care place. The doctor worried me when he walked in and the first thing he said was he was going to go call the plastic surgeon at primary children's. What?! Could this really be happening? After all Ben has been through, I must truly be the worst parent to ever live! It was the breaking point. He has suffered so much because of that burn and I won't ever forgive myself for that. We have been going to the Burn Unit at the University of Utah since then and his hand has improved so much. He didn't loose mobility like they were concerned he would. (I did try to be perfect in taking care of it just the way they taught me to and did his physical therapy all the time.) He didn't end up having the skin graft we'd planned for either, thanks to a priesthood blessing. It really looks so much better though we still get lots of comments about it. Oh man, I can't tell you the agony I have felt for this one! But like I said, it was a blessing in a giant disguise. Because I think something was bound to happen sooner or later. When I look back I sometimes wonder if Ben's burn didn't actually prevent something more tragic, like me falling asleep at the wheel and killing all my babies in a car accident. That kind of stuff happens, and I am so thankful we were blessed and carried through that time. Anyway, to get to what I wanted to write about, finally!... After that I decided I needed help around the house and with everything really. I was a basket-case I think and so everyone had to start sharing the load a bit. Here are a few fun pictures I found of the help I received from my kids. Cody helped a lot too, he always has been a great help, I just never take pictures of it. (No one wants blackmail lying around!) The best thing about the kids helping though is that so much of it was spontaneous! They just saw a need (there were lots!) and they helped and I am so proud of them!
This one is blurry, sorry, I only had a half second to grab the camera
when I walked into the kitchen and saw Ben sweeping the floor.
Whoever said child labor was a bad thing?
Here is Aimee letting Sarah eat her face off at the hotel in Disneyland.
Really this little distraction for Sarah is a huge help sometimes!
Ben had just learned to climb onto the couch by himself and what
did he want to do? Hold his sister! You can't see it in the picture but
he was actually trying to read her a book. Darling!
I love these two pictures! Aimee is at the perfect age for mommy-ing
and she loves having a baby sister to practice with. She is definitely
my go-to extra hands when it comes to holding the baby.
Look how cute they are!
At Jocelyn's birthday Ben was trying to help by feeding Sarah
some paper from the floor. Mmm, thanks Ben!
Aimee reading to Sarah.
Ben trying to get out a wipe he would later use to wipe Sarah's nose.
I thought that was pretty sweet.
Jocelyn holding Sarah's bottle while I herded all the kids
at Aimee's birthday party.See the way Sarah is looking at her?
This has to be one of my favorites. Joc woke me up one morning dressed
and sporting her apron with her doll on her hip. She'd gotten up early and
made breakfast for everyone and set the table so well. She is awesome!
Look at her "don't take my picture" expression! :)
Ben found a way to help Sarah stop screaming. He just lays his head
on her and she stops. It's comforting I guess. He has a new variation on
it now, he sits on her and says "Neigh", like a horse! Surprisingly she loves it!
She and Ben are so close and it's so fun to see them interact!
Aimee helping mom again, thanks Aim!
Jocelyn holding Sarah when she was tiny. Remember I had pneumonia
when I delivered Sarah, that's why she was early, so Joc would come lay
with her when I would be coughing too much to hold her. It was such a
help to me and I love Jocelyn's proud Big Sister expression!
She is truly the perfect Big Sister in every way.
My most favorite picture of all. I had to set screaming Sarah down for a
minute to change Ben's burn dressing. I was alarmed when I realized
she'd stopped crying and I was afraid she'd stopped breathing! But to
my amazement, I found Aimee holding her--Sarah was fast asleep, while
Aimee was intently reading a little "Meals on the Go" cookbook!
Oh what a little Mommy you'll be someday!
And finally, while it's true the mess in the background was Ben's doing,
I thought it was darling when he went all the way up to his room and
came back down with a little book and read it to Sarah.
He seemed irritated I'd interrupted though!
These are just a few of the countless times my sweet kids have saved me in a brief moment of insanity. How thankful I am for you Jocelyn and for you Aimee and for you Benny and for you little Sarah! I love my sweet babies!(P.S. After looking at these cute pictures you probably can't understand why I was so stressed--not one picture shows Sarah as much as frowning, let alone screaming. Well what kind of parent takes a picture of their kid crying? Trust me, she DID!)
