We are blessed!!!!

Well, Ben went back to the Operating Room today for another open heart surgery. The plan was to try to repair the mitral valve (or replace it if necessary) then do an echo and decide what to do with the aortic valve. Dr. Hawkins said the mitral valve was much worse than he thought and after an hour of trying to repair it he was sure there was nothing he could do. So he replaced it with an artificial valve from St. Jude's hosp. Everything went well and the echo went amazing too. The aortic valve was actually better than we could even have hoped to expect. And the best news of all---Ben came off the heart/lung bypass machine on the first try!!! (They actually said he jumped off!) He is such a fighter and is trying so hard to get better. It has been such an amazingly spiritual day and we feel blessed beyond our ability to express. As always the first 24 and 48 hours are scary, but we are confident that our boy will make great progress. Such a change from how we felt yesterday!

Everyone has been asking for more pictures so here is one Cody took last night. You can see the scar on Ben's chest. It looks really good I think. He was still pretty sleepy yesterday since he had been sedated and paralyzed to have the chest tube put in. I guess Cody talked to the NP today who said that because Ben is making such slow progress the doctors will talk to the surgeons about only waiting another five days or so to see if there is enough of an improvement, otherwise they recommend he go back to the operating room to see if there is anything they can do for that mitral valve. We have been hoping that he would be doing much better by now but more complications keep happening, daily, and I think the dr's are worried that he might not be progressing at all and that the longer they wait he could get an infection he simply couldn't fight off since he has had so many tubes and wires in him for so long. So more of the waiting for Cody and I; I suppose we'd always meant to learn patience. Hmm. Well... I took a picture of Ben with his Binky in because it was so cute but it didn't turn out very well, I'll have to try again tomorrow so I can post that. I love a baby with a binky! I've been home for a full day with the girls and it has been bliss (even though we had to get our flu shots). They are the most darling girlies ever! It will be good to be back to the ICU tomorrow though, I don't know why I don't trust anyone to look after Ben if I'm not there.
In other news, Aimee has a dance recital next week so watch for the pictures, Jocelyn did well on her mid-year reviews in school, Cody is busily back to work and right now the Lakers are winning so he's very happy, and I have (even though I said I never would) joined the Twilight band-wagon. Laura lent me books to read at the hospital, it was in the sack and I read it yesterday. I know I am behind because there are three more books and a movie I need to get started on but don't worry, I am working out a plan to catch up. Thanks again for the prayers for Benji and our whole family--we feel them and they help!

The other day I was sitting in Ben's room and I was thinking about how fragile life is, and how so much of what you always considered "constant" really isn't that at all. The boy across the hall from Ben's room isn't doing well. Just yesterday he was sitting up sipping a Dr. Pepper and looking well. Today doctors and nurses are running in and out, wheeling in the machine that starts your heart again after it has stopped. Meanwhile his family gathers and looks on, grief and frantic worry in their faces. I know how they feel. We have been there. Today has been a pretty good day for Ben; but I think back to the days that haven't been so good and I remember the stress and heartache we felt. There is no better way to describe this experience than to say it is a rollercoaster. And today, while we are gently coasting down a smooth-ish, all-be-it rather long, hill, my heart hurts for the children and families who are suffering. There are so many sick children and babies here; it is truly humbling and makes you look at life and priorities a little differently. Please keep them all in your prayers as well.

P.S. Ben had another echo today...valves look the same as the last echo and mitral regurgitation is as bad as well. He also has a small blood clot in the right side of his heart. They will increase his blood thinners and hopefully it won't move into his lungs. We are hopeful that he will start gaining weight soon and get some strength back. I'll keep postin' when I can.

The big meeting...

Well today all the cardiologists and surgeons met again to try to figure out what would be best for Ben. They don't think there is anything they can do for the mitral valve as far as repairing or replacing it right now. They would like to try to extubate (take out the breathing tube) again so that he might be able to go home in a while and recover and get a little bigger before doing another open heart surgery. They think if he is able to go home he would require another surgery in 1-3 months. I am nervous because the last time they tried to extubate it didn't go so well and it put his little heart in a lot of stress for about a week causing him to have lots of other complications. But the only other alternative (if he is not able to extubate) is the really risky Norwood procedure which is another open heart surgery (or series of surgeries) where they would completely reroute his entire plumbing in his heart to only use the right ventrical and not the left at all. This would mean he would only have one pumping chamber for blood to come in and out of and would mean at least 5-8 future surgeries beginning in the near future. On the positive side, he had a catheter to his heart yesterday to measure the exact pressures in all the valves and chambers and his left atrium which is collecting all of the regurgitated blood from his mitral valve only had a pressure of 16. Dr. Hawkins, the surgeon, said normal is below 10 and if it was over 20 they wouldn't even try to extubate because there would be no way Ben would be able to do it. But Ben's was 16...so he really might be able to get off the breathing tube and then in a few weeks he might be able to come home and rest for a few months or longer. Oh wouldn't that be wonderful! Maybe he could even be home for Christmas! The first spontaneous trial (30 minutes with the ventilator off to see if he'll breathe on his own) was today and it went pretty well for 20 minutes, then he stopped breathing and the machine kicked back on. That is pretty good I'd say and I'm sure it will only get better tomorrow. If the trials go well they will try to take the tube out on Sat or Sun. Cody and I both have really good feelings that he will be able to get it out and that he'll be able to come home soon. Oh I hope so!

Updates on Baby Ben...

I am so sorry I haven't had time to update my blog in a while, this is the first time I have been home in a long time. I can't believe Ben is going to be 2 weeks old tomorrow. Being at the hospital is a rollercoaster everyday. There's good and bad news constantly. Clinically, his vitals are improving, but we had some bad news from the last echocardiogram on Tuesday. It showed the leaking in his mitral valve is worse than it was before the open heart surgery and his aortic valve is just a mess as well. We are hoping that when they repeat the echo on Monday the rest he has had will have made some improvements. They pulled the breathing tube out yesterday but ended up putting it back because after about an hour of doing fairly well his heart just didn't have the energy to breathe any more. It was really, really scary. Cody and I have started taking turns at the hospital and coming home to try to give the girls some normalcy at home and to break out of the depressing environment and recharge a little. I was aching to be with the girls but it is devastating to drive away from little Ben in Salt Lake. Thanks everyone for your continued faith and prayers...they really help.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Cody's Surprise Baby Shower

Cody needed a treat for his work Halloween party that was easy and could be made the night before. We have made this before with blue jello (to simulate the ocean at Aimee's Ariel birthday) and also with red jello (my favorite), but for the occasion we tried it with orange. It looked like candy corn with the darkest layer on bottom and the lightest on top but it tasted more like a "dreamsicle". Mmmm, yummy!

Recipe---
Two large boxes of jello (the 8-serving ones)
Two 12 oz tubs of cool whip
6 cups boiling water

Dissolve jello in water completely. With a wire wisk gently stir in 1 1/3 tubs of frozen cool whip (put the remaining 2/3 tub in the fridge to thaw). When all mixed in pour into a 9x13 glass pan (must be see through or it defeats the purpose of the layers Ü). Let chill in fridge for about 2 hours then spread remaining thawed cool whip on top for final layer. I usually refrigerate a little longer to let last layer set but you can serve immediately if desired. Cut in squares and enjoy.

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Here are Jocey and Aimee riding horses at their friend Kayla's birthday party. Happy Birthday Kayla, thanks for a fun day!

Practice, Practice

One of the last few days in our old house and I found Aimee in one of her favorite spots...singing and playing the piano. Check out her perfect fingering! I wish I had thought to get video of it at the time because she has the most beautiful and tender voice. Unfortunately she caught me watching her, smiled, and got down.

Well we're late posting these pics, but here is cute Jocelyn on her "First Day of School"! She is loving Candy Apple Cove Preschool and her amazing teacher Miss Vicki. She has made lots of friends and is learning tons. In fact she can already say the full Pledge of Allegence and has learned lots of fun songs too. She is really blossoming and it is wonderful!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

How to enjoy life...

So I was going to complain that I am really sick of being in "house selling, always have to have it clean, leave at a moment's notice, no sleep, stress all of the time" mode. But then I remembered something that my friend Jenny has on her blog:

"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." --Carlos Castaneda

Thanks to all of you that remind me to try to be positive and cheerful and "this too shall pass". I guess I could learn to take the advice I've dished out to two people this past month--If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it! Oh to have more faith...gotta work on that one. I really am so thankful that the Lord gave Cody and I the promptings that it was time to sell our house and to move to Germany because we had been searching for a while for the direction we should take for our family. And even though this brings so many "unknown's" which I hate because I am a little neurotic and always like to play it safe and plan everything down to the smallest detail, I know that everything will work out the way that it is supposed to. And what a comfort it is to know, as my favorite scripture says, "that it is by (Him) that (we) are led."

Baby Jacob!

So just look at how darling my little nephew Jacob is. This is Laura & JD's little cutie right out of the bath tub. Isn't he adorable! I can't believe how lucky our little family has been already this year to have had like six babies born into our combined families and every one has been healthy and sweet and cute as can be! We truly are so blessed to have so many choice spirits come to our homes. (In case you were wondering, when I have my little guy in a couple months the stats will be six boys to one girl!) I know Cody and I have often wondered "How did we ever exist before we had our kids?" They add so much to our lives and we love them, and our niece and nephews so much!

Truly amazing...

If you have a chance, this is something you can't miss. Check out my sister's blog found in my blog list--Keeping up with us Jones--and click on the video "Christian the Lion" on the left side just under the picture of her cute little boy Boston. Have some tissues ready. It's a good one.

After seven years of hard work finally the pay off--Graduation. Way to go Cody, we are all so very proud of you. You have sacrificed tirelessly always trying your hardest. In fact, you didn't just graduate with your BA in Psychology, you did it as only one of five in your class to graduate with honors (see the white rope Cody is wearing in the pictures)! How fun it was to share this day with you, beaming and crying by your side. I love you Toad and always will. Thank you also to all of our families who supported Cody on this milestone and always, we love you for it!

Selling the House Stress

Well, can I just say that getting a house ready to sell in a week has been crazy! Cody and I have worked really hard and now we're exhausted! The realtor came last night and stayed until 10:15 pm and then we crashed in our bed. Cody went right to sleep (because he still had work and school today) and I lay awake for a hour or so contemplating, stressing, and praying that everything will go well and that it will sell in the time frame that we need and for the $ we need. But when I woke up, feeling strangely refreshed, my whole house was clean and organized and I felt peaceful. Three items caught my eye and put a smile on my face so I thought I'd take a picture to savor the moment. First were the small white frames I put up a few days ago. ( I wish I'd had a friend here to help me choose the paper--I am too indecisive!) I have had these frames for three years and the shells for just as long but never finished the project. Now that they are up, and even in all their simplicity, they bring me joy. Next was a bowl of fruit on the table. Thank you to Cassy who gave me the bowl. I love yellow and green in the kitchen; so bright, so friendly. They instantly lift my mood. Finally I had placed a green pot with delicate purple flowers by my back door. Now even taking the garbage out is a positive experience. And while I know that I usually kill plants and so I can't expect to enjoy these for long, somehow that's okay. They are pretty and I love them.

Germany or Bust!

Well it's official, actually it has been for over a week now but I am a slow blogger, we are moving to Spangdahlem Air Force Base in Germany!!! Spangdahlem (Jenny will you help me practice saying it right?) the base and the town are both really small (population 800) and in a really rural location, as you can tell from the picture. The closest city is Trier which is the oldest city in Germany and quite historic. It is also pretty close to the German borderlines with France, Luxembourg and Belgium. It is by a large river so it stays pretty cool temperatures most of the year never getting warmer than the 70's in the summer but not too cold in the winter, around the 30's and 40's mostly. Which being huge and prego at the moment in hot, desert Utah sounds pretty good to me. From what I hear the German people are most hospitable and kind and I can't wait to get to know them and to explore the sites. In fact, we almost went to a different base in Germany, Ramstein, but that didn't work out. I am glad because that is in a really big city primarily made up with Americans and they have all the American stores and such and I wanted to go somewhere where we could really get a feel for the culture and give our kids the experience of a lifetime. I mean, if you are going to move to Germany, move to Germany, right? Before we go I want to compile a list of some fun places to visit on the evenings and weekends so if anyone has any thoughts about what to see in Europe (because it is hard for me to narrow it down) let me know. And hopefully I will still have internet access there to blog our travels. Ü

I found this somewhere in the depths of my computer files, and it brightened my day. I love these girlies. They have brought "a happiness to my life that I had no right to expect" (Meet Joe Black). I am proud to be their Mommy and love every minute we share together.

Sorry to belatedly post the announcement, but yeah for us...we are having a baby boy!!!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

PLAYDOUGH

This was obviously taken before it ended up all over my floor. What is it about the colorful mushy stuff that brings out the kid in all of us. Thanks to Laura and JD for the new set of dough, cutters and tools. We ALL love it!

A bittersweet ending...

Last day of dance! It is a lot like the last day of school because even though Jocelyn hasn't really been thrilled to get up in the morning and go the last few months, I know that she will miss it. She has gone for 2 1/2 years and has made lots of new friends, has had three awesome performances, and has grown in talent and ability in both tap and ballet. I am most proud that she has always behaved with friendship and kindness and that she has stretched herself to be brave and has developed lots of confidence. Way to go Joc. for always trying your best and making it fun for yourself, your friends, and for me to watch. My one consolation at this "end of an era" or crossroad in her life is that I get to see my beautiful ballerina perform her final recital next week at The Browning Center at Weber State. Good luck Jocey, you'll do great and we'll be there to cheer you on!

Artist's right of expression...

Jocelyn is such a talented artist, and she has found a way to use her passion to communicate her plethora of little girl emotions. For example, this drawing was placed on the table where I was writing and then she ran away and hid. It is a picture of a frowny face and she was trying to tell me she was sad so I went to her and she told me what was wrong. I am glad she came up with this system of self-expression, because it saves me the trouble of guessing what she is feeling when she won't talk about it. You are brilliant Jocey!

P.S. This is off the subject, but last week on her own she drew a very detailed picture of Jesus which even included facial hair and sandals with toes sticking out. We'll save that one for sure!

Naptime...

One of the the greatest rewards as a parent is seeing how much your children love each other. I had put the girls down for naps in their own beds, but a few minutes later they were snuggled in Aimee's bed with her new Ariel blanket holding each other. Thank you Jocelyn and Aimee, for making Daddy and I feel like no matter what else is going on in the world, you have made our lives worthwhile. We love you!!!

Watching Baby Taylor

Sometimes I wonder if I'll remember how to care for a tiny baby when we have our new baby this fall. I know I have two already, but I still get anxious at the thought of taking this sweet, fragile bundle home from the hospital totally dependant on me in every way. I am getting a little practice though, which is good for me and for Jocelyn and Aimee, and we are having fun too. Taylor is Brandon and Amanda's sweet daughter born April 24, 2008 and I get to hold her and squeeze her and stare at her every Thursday! She is an angel of a baby who is too little to do much at this point but it is still tons of fun. We have the same style of swing as Taylor's at home so she'll sit in that for a little while when I need to do something for the girls but otherwise she prefers to be held. She isn't too thrilled about Tummy Time, as her Mom and Dad warned me, but she did discover a red phone rattle that she could grip really well. Thanks Brandon and Amanda for giving us the opportunity to spend some time with Taylor!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Aimee loves all things girly--which really surprises everyone who thought she'd be a tomboy. On her birthday she got to pick the day's activities and before she was even dressed we were painting her nails--fingers and toes. She is so cute and holds perfectly still asking me, "Is it perfect? Am I beautiful?" Here are some other pictures from the rest of the day with two of her favoritest people, her sister and her dad. Hope you had a fun birthday Aimee, we love you so much!!!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

( No Jocelyn isn't sickly, she was just a little cold by the time I got her to sit still for a picture because she was having so much fun.)


So, after Dance on Tuesday we went for a play date with our buds--Mom Jenny, Neeley (who is Jocey's age and in her dance class), Kayla (who is Aimee's age), and baby Lilah. Jenny suggested a picnic lunch at the park nearby so we took a short walk and enjoyed a fabulous lunch (of course everything tastes good to me!), and the girls played at the park. The only "damp"er on the day--forgive the pun--was that it was a little cold and windy and threatened rain. But even that held off until we were ready to head back. Then the girls played dress-up, their one true passion, while Lilah napped and Jen and I enjoyed some Mom Time. Isn't it great to have such good friends with kids the same ages and genders as ours who play and entertain each other so well. We love you guys and are thankful for the simple days packed with laughter and memories.